You’ve given them everything. So why do they still need more?

You’ve told your team your door is always open.

You’ve supported them, encouraged them, given them opportunities to develop and made yourself available whenever they’ve needed you.

And yet, somehow, you’re still the person they come to for everything.

You want them to take more responsibility, make decisions and have confidence in themselves.

But you find yourself answering the same questions, solving the same problems and carrying things that perhaps shouldn’t be yours to carry.

And then there’s your own work to do!

So you end up staying later, getting up earlier or squeezing even more into an already full day.

And perhaps someone has even told you that you need to be more visible, more available or more supportive.

Really? What else are you supposed to do?

It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

And here’s what I find fascinating 🥰…

You can know all the leadership theories, have years of experience, genuinely care about your people and still find yourself in exactly the same patterns.

What if doing more is actually part of what’s keeping you there?

Have you ever stopped to notice what happens to you under pressure?

Let’s think about this.

You say yes to something when you already know you haven’t got the time. You take over a task because it’s easier than explaining it again.

You avoid a conversation because you don’t want to upset someone. You tell everyone you’re fine, even when you know you’re running on empty.

You promise yourself you’ll do things differently next time. And then next time comes along, the pressure rises and there you are again.

Doing exactly what you said you wouldn’t do. So why is this?

Because much of how we respond to the world around us happens automatically.

Over the years, we develop ways of thinking and behaving that help us navigate our relationships, our workplaces and the expectations placed upon us.

Some of these patterns have served us incredibly well.

They’ve helped us achieve, build careers, develop relationships and become people others can depend upon.

But have you ever considered that the very behaviours that helped you get to where you are today might be influencing what’s keeping you there? And so what is getting in your way of the changes you say you seek?

The masks we wear

We all have ways of responding when life gets demanding.

Perhaps you’re the one who keeps everyone happy.

The one who always gets things done.

The one who stays strong, no matter what’s happening.

Or the one who needs everything to be just right before you can move forward.

You may recognise more than one of these in yourself.

And there’s so much that you get from them…

They can bring tremendous strengths to the way you live and lead.

But when they become automatic, our ‘go to’, we can find ourselves in familiar situations that we really don’t want, without really understanding why.

Because sometimes, the expectations we’re trying so hard to meet aren’t coming from the situations around us.

They’re coming from within ourselves.

Now, isn’t that worth thinking about?

Because how can we begin to change something if we’re not even aware that we’re doing it?

And what might become possible if we started to understand ourselves a little differently?

Imagine leading without having to carry everything.

Imagine your team feeling confident enough to make decisions without needing to check everything with you.

Imagine being able to have the conversations you’ve been putting off, without spending days worrying about how people might respond.

Imagine having the space to think, to focus on the work that matters and to actually enjoy the role you’ve worked so hard to achieve.

And imagine going home at the end of the day with enough energy left for the people and things that matter to you.

What difference would that make?

Because surely the answer to everything can’t be to keep doing more.

Perhaps there’s another way of looking at what’s happening.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to explore together.

What will you discover in this masterclass?

During our 60 minutes together, we’re going to explore:

• Why doing more isn’t always working. How some of the things we do with the very best intentions can unintentionally create more work, more responsibility and greater dependence on us.
• What happens to us under pressure. Recognising the patterns and masks we can find ourselves wearing, and understanding why we sometimes respond in ways that don’t reflect how we really want to lead.
• The influence we have on the people around us. How our thinking, behaviour and emotional responses shape our relationships and the environments we create.
• What becomes possible when we begin to understand ourselves differently. Creating the awareness and space to make more conscious choices about how we lead, respond and move forward.

We’ll share some practical examples, invite you to reflect on your own experiences and introduce a different perspective on leadership that may change how you look at some of the challenges you’re facing.

You might be surprised by what you discover.

YOUR HOSTS

Nicki Lothian

Leadership and Self-Mastery Coach | Co-founder of Discovery Coaching

For almost three decades, Nicki has worked with people and leaders across the public and private sectors, including more than 20 years within the NHS.

Throughout her career, she’s been fascinated by what makes people think, feel and behave the way they do.

Why do capable, experienced people sometimes find themselves stuck in the same patterns? Why do we continue doing things that we know aren’t helping? And what happens when we begin to understand ourselves more deeply?

As an experienced coach, Nicki draws on psychodynamic and systemic coaching, NLP, Coaching Constellations and Insights Discovery to explore what sits underneath our everyday behaviours.

Her work focuses on helping people develop greater self-awareness, reconnect with what matters to them and recognise the influence they have on the environments and relationships around them.

She believes that when we develop the person first, we change what’s possible in their leadership, careers, relationships and lives.

Jamie McBrearty

Mindset, Leadership and People Development Coach | Co-founder of Discovery Coaching

Jamie brings over 25 years of experience developing people, teams and leaders across sport, education and business.

His work explores the relationship between our thinking, beliefs, self-image and the results we create.

He’s passionate about helping people recognise the patterns that influence their performance, challenge the limitations they may have placed upon themselves and discover what they’re truly capable of.

Together, Nicki and Jamie bring their experience of human behaviour, leadership and personal development into conversations that challenge the way we think about ourselves and the world around us.